July 14, 2008

Took Em to work this morning then Dan and I headed home for a swim. Spent the day cleaning the house, while Dan took an early nap. Then he and I went down to the tide pools to see what we could find. We found several mussels and lots of periwinkles, and even a sea cucumber which Danny called a sea pig, he liked making it squirt water. On the way back up to the car I said to him "come on baby" and he said "I'm not a baby" I said, "you'll always be my baby" and he said "Mom, someday I'm going to grow up and have my own family, then I won't be your baby anymore" As much as I wanted to argue with his logic, I failed to see a purpose. What a smart 4 and a half year old I have.

July 13, 2008

The bout of sickness in our house has passed, thankfully. Mike spent all day Thursday in our bedroom except for a cigarette break here and there through out the day. Emmy had to work so Dan got out a couple of times to take her to and fro, but other then that spent most of the day layed out on the couch as well.

Friday Mike went to work to make up for the day before, Dan had his last Nature Detectives class at the Game Farm and had a great time. I used the time to walk the canal, 4 miles total.
Men's night was at our house, but because of an upset stomach (the bug) I went to bed early.

Saturday morning I went for a 3.5 mile walk, then took Em to work. Dan and I spent about an hour at the Francis Crane WMA looking for annuals with no luck. We did find a pretty orange flower, and really cool brown and orange moth, and a blue jay feather. Got back just in time to help Mike put in the speed bumps before lunch. Dan and I spent a good part of the afternoon at the beach, while Mike napped. Picked Emmy up at work and returned to attend Janni's 5pm cocktail party. That broke up at about 7pm and we all congregated in the grove for dinner.

I've still not imbibed, and have eaten no meat, dairy, or grain products in almost 2 weeks. Fruits/Vegetables and seafood only. It's working for me and I even found my hipbones yesterday! Haven't seen them in a while! Ran 3.5 miles in 50 minutes today!

Came home and cooled off then Mike and I installed the new speed limit signs we made. Put Dan down for an early nap so he and Emily could go see Wall E at 3pm. I did some shopping and put groceries away, then returned to pick up the kids. Later we encouraged Mike L to take us for a boat ride. We did a slow tool around the pond, then did it again at high speed. It was a great ride and nice to be out on the water!

July 10. 2008

As expected it was a long night. Dan and I went out to the living room to sleep for the night, Dan made himself a nest on the floor and alternated between being sick, fast asleep, or rolling around in pain. A thunderstorm rolled through at about 2am and I was up to see it. My stomach is very flippy floppy this morning and I intend to eat nothing until it settles. Mike got up a little after 5am, had a cigarette, and sat down with a cup of coffee. He was about half way through when he ran off to the bathroom. Great way to start the day. So Dan's asleep, Mike went back to bed, and I'm here writing...it's 6:05am.

July 9, 2008

Another day of the mad rush to Famouth to take Emmy to work then back to Sandwich so that Dan can get to his class on time. I brought Marley with us and decided that she and I would do 4 miles on the canal while we waited for Dan to be finished at 11:30. The day was hot but had a great wind. Marley was enthusiastic as we walked toward the Sagamore bridge. On the way I noticed a high pitch whistle which I knew could only be a T. lyricen cicada. I was thrilled and went to see if I could find it with no success. The tree line was edged with tall grass and lots of poison ivy. I was glad just to hear them call. The walk back from the bridge was really warm and Marley was definitely feeling it. We made it back to the parking lot and water at 11:15, time enough for a quick drink before heading back to Green Briar to pick up Dan.
Laurie and I made Speed limit signs while Dan napped, then went down to the beach for a swim and to roll up the moonbounce that's been here for a week. After dinner Danny started complaining about a stomach ache. I'd seen this before in Seneca on Tuesday and immediately knew it was going to be a long night...

July 8, 2008

Things here have been great. Danny's attending a Nature Detective class at Green Briar on Monday, Wednesday and Friday this week and already had a great time chasing butterflies, and dragonflies, finding turtle shells, snakes and muskrat poop.
Em's working and earning money. Probably the most notable event of this past week was finding out that as of this week I'll only have the girls every third Friday from 2:30 - 7:45. Advance Spine Centers closed Buzz's office so he's going back to Barnstable Family chiropractic and since he will have Tuesdays off they won't need me any more. I might have to pick up a part time job somewhere but it'll be fine.else'sI'm going to miss having the girls but after today I maybe not! (Just kidding) The day started off with Ruby being very under the weather and concluded when Seneca threw up all over the living room and Joey learned how to take off her diaper and peed on the floor. Dad was promptly called and Mom picked them up early.
The other exciting event of the last couple of days was attempting to smuggle a dozen Cicada down to my buddy Elias in NY. Long Island had their own emergence of Decim's but it was light and he didn't get his fill. I still have plenty and volunteered to send him some. The post office originally said shipping them wasn't a problem, then called yesterday afternoon to say they couldn't ship them over state lines. So down to the local pack and ship I go, after explaining to the guy what's going on, and that they'll be used for research purposes only he jumps on board to help me get these guys down there. I left the box at 5:04pm last night and Elias signed for them at 10:15 this morning. Talk about service. I'm happy to report that even after being cooped up in a box, over night on a plane, 6 cicada's arrived in NY alive, well and calling like mad! Very exciting!
It's been a week of no drinking, it's going better and was easier then I expected. I've also run over 15 miles in the last week and am eating only fresh fruits, vegetables and fish. I think that makes me a vegetarian. I feel terrific, my vestibular issues have all but vanished, and I'm already starting to see some weight loss and as a bonus I came out of the whole experience with a couple of really terrific new friends.

July 4, 2008

Dan and Mike are taking a nap, and Em's at the mall with the Morse girls and Sarah. I have some blessed quiet time to regroup. First off I'm doing well. No alcohol in three days, still eating only fruits and vegetable, and walked 3.5 miles this morning. I feel terrific and am already noticing some weight coming off. So far these changes are my secret. After really thinking about the things that have gone on over the last week, I'm entirely less concerned with my feelings of restlessness in the marriage and a little more concerned in doing the things that are going to make me feel good about myself. I hadn't really put the pieces together, but Em is nearly an adult, she not just getting by now like she was when she was in school, she's now thriving. Her boss told me they liked her so much they were going to keep her on staff. Most of the seasonal help will be laid off. Subconsciously I think it's a huge weight off of me. She's doing in on her own, and she's doing it well. At this point what more can I ask.

As for Danny my whole world has basically revolved around this little boy. But nowhe's growing up, he plays with friends more then me, he can dress himself, nearly bathe himself, feed himself, there's less for me to do. I think 4 is the age where a child moves from the baby years into the child years....these are my favorite by far. Anyway, these kids have been my whole life for so long, I forgot I have a life too.

So here's my thinking. School in the fall for me. I want to go back to school to be an RN, then go on to midwifery. It seems like such a long road, and Danny is still so young. But if I do a class or two at night, by the time Dan is Emmy's age I'll be that much closer to achieving my goals. So that's the plan for now. I haven't had a chance to talk to Mike about any of this yet. I kind of like that I'm doing this just for me with no questions why. I also haven't told him I've stopped drinking but I'm sure he knows something is up, for the last two nights he's asked me repeatedly if I wanted wine and I just said no thank you, yesterday he brought me home some Smirnoff's which I really like in the summer, but I didn't touch. I can tell he's starting to wonder what's going on. I did comment the other night after declining a glass that I was tired of waking up with a hangover, so I don't think he'll be surprised.

July 3, 2008

Things here have been stressful. I've had a little growing to do over last few days. I took a good hard look at my life, and where it was going. It's very easy to fall into complacency. I've had over 50lbs to lose for more then 7 years. I've dieted on and off but always end up giving up, because what's the point. We like to eat, it's just what we do. I've also found especially in the last couple of years that I'm drinking much more frequently. I decided about a year ago that I would only drink red wine, at least it's heart healthy, but I was drinking it just about every night. Not so healthy. I exercise off and on, I like to run, but it's very difficult to squeeze in when you have a 4 year old, and very easy to put off. All these things combined made for a fat, hung over, lazy and otherwise unmotivated woman on a pretty regular basis. I have no body to blame but myself. My life is what I make it. Now I strive to do what it takes to be happy with myself. My biggest fear is that I will outgrow my life as it is now. Mike is very happy with the life we live, enjoys all his habits and I'm not sure what he'll think of this woman that needs to transform for her own sanity. I presume time will tell.
Strangely, I have eaten no meat, or dairy in nearly 3 days. I'm not sure why except that all of a sudden the thought makes me nauseous. I feel surprisingly good on my fruit and vegetable only diet. A cleansing of sorts. I've stopped drinking, it's been two days now, taking my vitamins, going to be early, getting up early, and even this morning went for a run. It's a good start, just need to keep it up otherwise I'm likely fall back into my life of sloth. I'm great with habits, I just need to make these new life changes habit. Good thing I evolve quickly!