November 1, 2008 Emmy's new car....finally!

The morning started quietly and I managed to get out of the house for a run before anybody else woke. 2 runs in 16 hours and I was feeling very motivated. It's been exactly 4 months since my diet and lifestyle change and I've happily lost 60lbs. That's a Danny and a half! According to my Wii fit I'm now within a normal weight range for my height, it estimates my optimal weight to be 136 lbs so I have 16 lbs to go or be able to fit into those size 8 shorts for Disney, whatever comes first. Dan and I took Emmy to work for 1pm while Mike stayed home to do some turning. Dan and I stopped at the grocery store on our way home, then layed down for a nap. Mike woke me up about an hour later saying that Russ from Spirit Auto called and said the car was ready. It was just after 3pm and I had to work at 5pm. Dan and I jumped out of bed and hopped in the van for the ride over. The car was parked in front and ready to go when we got there. I installed Dan's carseat, Mike checked the repairs and put her plates on. In minutes we were ready to go. We got home just after 4pm. I ate, dressed and since Em didn't know we had the car decided I'd take it to work with me, and Mike would pick Em up in the van explaining that the truck was having repairs. I really wanted to be there when she got it. However Mike primed Dan about the surprise and Danny was just too excited to keep it, and spilled the beans. I still got to give her the keys, and see that smile you only see so often these days. Em drove Mike and Danny home and I finished my night. I worked with the Assistant Manager tonight, but it's the last time for the week. I'll be working with kids and my Assistant Manager wished me good luck. I'll be responsible for the money, I've seen this before.

We have a busy week in store. Em's working on Monday. Potentially the last day Danny and I will have to drive her there. Tuesday is election day, which I can't wait to have over and fear the results. Mike and I will vote first thing that morning. Then Em has her road test at 9am and since we didn't have a car that qualified for the test, Mom is coming up from RI so Emily can use hers. Assuming she passes it we'll have a quick lunch before heading to RI to support Ed in his town council re- election campaign.
Wednesday Dan and I are going to do the "we don't have to drive Emmy to work" dance, and gladly push her out the door at 8:15am. He and I will then go to story time at the library, then come home for rest time which we've had to put on hold since we've had to pick Emmy up at 1pm most days. Mike has a woodturners meeting and I school so Em and Dan will hang out Wednesday night.
Thursday is a quiet day for us. Friday Em's working till 1pm then the kids and I are going to RI for a Relay for Life spaghetti dinner fundraiser that Alicia, Ed, and Kristin have organized. We're planning on spending the night and I'm looking forward to it!
I've been in touch via e-mail with my old D & D boss Paul who invited me to join him for breakfast Saturday morning to catch up. We visited briefly with Paul and his wife Paula (cute, I know) a couple of months ago after the Progeny cookout, but we were on our way home and the kids were anxious to go so didn't really get a chance to talk. Mike and I loved Key West the last time we were there and would love to do a trip down there without the kids. Since Paul lives there he's the perfect person to talk to. He was a big influence in my life, and taught me a lot about myself. It'll be good to get together, if Mom doesn't mind entertaining the kids for me for a little while Saturday morning!

August 28. 2008 Dentists, Dino Days, and my necklace charm

Abigail's first swim in the pond>



Off to work again in a few minutes but thought I'd do a quick update.
Wednesday Em, Dan and I left here at 7:30am for dentist appts. in Middletown. The trip was uneventful and we made it with just minutes to spare. Everybody's teeth look great, Dan had his first set of X-rays taken and did great. Em has one cavity but nothing serious. They were actually surprised at how clean they were considering it's the first time they've had a good cleaning since before her braces went on. We visited with Mom and Mo for a little while then headed home, Em drove and we made it back right around noon. Dan and I took a nice long nap then I went to work. I'm starting to get very frustrated working with a woman who speaks so little english. We had many disagreements due to lack of communication.

Thursday morning we awoke to find Nettie sitting on the deck. We invited her in, made her a cup of coffee and set about getting ready for the day. Em had to be to work for 8am again, and Dan had Dino days at Green Briar again. I ran my route from the visitors center to the boardwalk then back around the loop(about 4 miles)Picked Dan up from his class and came home for lunch and a rest.

I include this story because I have a little time and I've been asked about it alot recently. When we lived in Saudi back almost 30 years ago, I was given a charm for a necklace. It was a solid heart surrounded but a gold circle. Mom told me that the heart was me, and the cirlce represented her and Dad. I was young and somehow I lost the charm. Fast forward to February 2006. My Grandmother had just passed away, the funeral was over and we were back at her house. Since I'm the only real knitter in the family, I was asked if I'd like her knitting stuff to which I quickly agreed. Later that night going through her knitting bag, in the small pocket tucked deep inside I felt something round. I reached in and found the charm. I know I lost mine in Saudi. This one must have been sent to my Grandmother but I never knew about it. What a strange coincidence that "my charm" landed in her only possession that would be all mine. It's a great story, and I love to tell it.

August 26, 2008 8 weeks!

Marley nursing her pups 4.5 weeks

quick update since Dan is up at Tiger's house and I have a little quite time to myself. I'm hoping to finish the book I've been reading before work tonight. I'm working M-F this week 5-12am, a long week to be sure, but the last before school starts and some things change. 1st I've asked for Wednesdays off because of class, 2nd because as of labor day we start closing at 10pm, and 3rd, I've asked to be scheduled no more then 3 days per week. So this is the last week of a really nice pay check. Em's hours got cut as well and she's happily working T, Th, and Friday this week. She and I have some math studying to do, and now we'll have the time to do it!

Monday we spent the morning in Hyannis doing some shopping. Em and Dan have both taken a liking to purler bead crafts, it's probably the first time I've seen Dan sit down and really focus on something for any length of time. So we went to AC Moore, then to Old Navy where I bought a hopeful bathing suit for next year for $4.99. It's a medium which is why I say hopeful. Then we went to the mall. The kids had McD's then we went to KB toys while Em purused Urban Behavior. Lastly I ran into Trader Joes for a few things before heading home.


Danny climbing a little Pine tree on the beach



Tuesday I awoke at 7am and realized Em had to be to work for 8am this morning and I needed to get moving. Today is 8 weeks ago today that I quit drinking, and eating anything other then fruits, vegetables and seafood. I feel great and am guessing I've lost about 25 lbs. We took Em to work, then I dropped Dan off at Dino days at Green Briar. I decided that I'd run an old route from the visitors center parking lot up to the boardwalk, over to the library then back to the canal. It took just over an hour, but was mostly flat and an easy run. Read my book for a half hour before picking up Dan then going to the grocery store to pick up dinner for the week.

August 24, 2008 Woodturning

Saturday was an uneventful day. Took Em to work, then Dan and I came home and went to the beach. The weather was beautiful and Dan had a great time playing with his friends. Mike spent the day at the Brewster women's library turning tops for kids, and selling some things he's made. He was happy that a platter of his sold for $100. Dan and I picked up Em at work, and after making a quick dinner for Mike and the kids I went to work myself.
Sunday morning I awoke, poured myself some vegetable juice, and dressed for a run. I returned home to find Mike and Dan bleary eyed on the couch. Since the pups are 4 weeks old today I decided it was time for them to have their first meal. I brought up the kiddy pool from the side of the house, and prepared a meal of puppy food and evaporated milk. Dan helped me round up the puppies and they all quickly knew just what to do, although by the end they were all wet and dirty. Since it was a such a nice morning and they are all moving around so well, we decided a quick swim might be in order and I went down to the playground to get the wagon to transport all of them to the beach. They looked very cute in transit, and quickly made their way to the waters edge as soon as we got there. Marley had fun chasing the ball and after only a few minutes. Most of the pups snuggled down for a nap with full bellies.

Emily had her first driving lesson with an instructor and after only a few minutes he apologized to her for having to do 10 more hours. Seems lots of parents don't teach their kids to drive anymore, they wait for the instructors to do it, then complete their driving logs after the instruction. Em traveled to Hyannis then to Woods Hole in Falmouth before heading home. 2 hours down, 10 more to go. Dan and I spent the afternoon at the beach, and didn't come up until almost 4pm when Dan promptly fell asleep on the couch. Suzanne, Janni and I decided on shrimp, edamame, and grilled summer squash for dinner. Mike Leone came over with some pasta, and chicken breasts and we had leftover pepperocini rice, and lamb chops from last night. We all retired to the deck after dinner and one by one the puppies arrived (thanks to Emily) on the deck and eventually proceeded to nurse...probably one of the last times they'll all nurse together now that they've begun to wean. Trying to keep your eyes on 7 roaming puppies is alot of work!

August 18, 2008 Wellfleet's Cicada Killers

I'm sitting here at the computer, it's 2:08pm on a Monday. The weather today is typical August in heat, but not in humidity and we're enjoying a nice south wind. Mike is away in Geneva NY for the week. He left early Sunday morning and we're expecting him to return either Friday or Saturday this week. The puppies are barking like crazy right now, Marley just fed them, so they're awake and practicing their barks before tiring out and taking a nap. Things here have been crazy busy, but I'll take it over being bored.
Friday I woke up at 6am, after working 5pm to midnight the night before, to go for a 3.5 miles run, then showered and quietly left my sleeping family to take my college placement exam at 8:30am. The drive to 4C's took 18 minutes. Directions were flawless and I soon found myself seated at a computer terminal. I took the test in 1 hour and 9 minutes. I aced the English comp, grammar and arithmetic portions of the test. Algebra was a little lower. I was then ushered to an advisor who helped me decide which course to start with, we chose sociology and she encouraged me to study up on my algebra a little bit and retake that portion on the test in hopes of pulling my score up 12 or so points so I wouldn't have to take a remedial algebra. If passed I can then move directly into Chemistry in the spring. I was sent next to the registration office and finally to the business office. It was 11am before I arrived home a happy new college student. We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out on the beach, before another eventful evening at D & D.

Saturday morning promised to be very busy. Em had to be to work at 9am. The Goulds and Pam and London had beach cleanup at 9am as well. An early morning e-mail from Gerry said he wanted to go out to Wellfleet to check out a cicada killer Lek and asked if I'd join him. Mike had to pick up a box truck for his trip at 3pm, Em needed to be picked up from work at 4pm and I had to be to be to work for 5pm. And if that wasn't enough, our annual PPA adult social was Saturday night as well, and I was on the committee. Thankfully, after a call to Gerry telling him how bad the traffic was he decided he'd save his Wellfleet trip for Sunday. Mike, Dan and I arrived at the beach with Pam, London and Justin to find it already done. We have a mystery beach clearnerupper. Em finished work early and was home by 3pm with plenty of time to rest before she needed to set up for the party. And Mike's box truck was ready and waiting when we pulled up at 3. Our hectic day wasn't so hectic after all.I went to work, but heard that the party went great. Black and white was a hit, and there was plenty of good food to go around.

I woke at 7:15 Sunday morning in a panic because as of midnight Saturday, I still didn't know what our Wellfleet plans were. I ran to the computer to find a note from Gerry saying he was running late...awesome I thought, I'll have more time....until I read further and realized that running late to Gerry meant he was going to be here at 8am! I kissed Mike good bye and wished him a safe trip, ran down to start some laundry, made the bed, woke Dan up, and packed up a few things within minutes of Gerry pulling up. It was a bright beautiful morning and with nothing to do for the entire day I was thrilled to be making this trip. The only pitfall was that Dan would have to come with us. Even so, we were checking out a cicada killer Lek in a parking lot. Dan would be fine. And he was mostly. We arrived there a little after 10am. We got out of the Hummer, and started walking around. Gerry quickly found a pile of sand with a finger sized hole and stated this was exactly what we were looking for, but this one seemed old with no new sand. So we looked around some more and nearly tripped over a whole grouping of them right in parking lot itself. Seems they had made use of the cracks in the pavement. Gerry wes pleased to see newly excavated sand, so we hung around and waited. Sure enough with in a few minutes a female cicada killer arrived and flew into a hole. Gerry suggested that we plug the holes with sticks so that if a female arrived with a cicada she would drop it because she couldn't get into her hole. We filled all the visible holes and waited again. A few minutes later, a female arrived carrying a cicada. She dropped it just as Gerry said she would and Gerry picked it up and laid the Canicularis in his hand, hoping that the female Cicada Killer would take it from him. She never did, but I got some great video of her buzzing around and even eventually she did take it down her burrow. Gerry had asked if I'd like to keep the Canicularis and I said no, thinking if we got one, we'll get more. Gerry has a way of making things look easy. We hung around for another half hour waiting for the Cicada killers to bring in more Cicada's and nothing. Wished I'd kept that canicularis! Dan was getting restless and Gerry suggested a hike. http://www.nps.gov/caco/planyourvisit/upload/GreatIIslandseparationsfinal.pdf
Here are a couple of youtube videos of the Cicada/Cicada killer we saw.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5D58MST_nE8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6CWMcy5G7Y

We followed a path that emptied into a marsh, and this little bay created by Great Island. We took a right and followed the water around. Great Island is a peninsula with a small sliver of land connecting it to the mainland. It's mostly just a glorified sand bar at high tide probably no more then a couple thousand feet wide. We followed the path but it was slow going, the air warm and I could tell Dan was quickly tiring after about 1/2 mile of high speed walking. We decided to pass Gerry's net off to him when we realized we'd never keep up, and go exlore the ocean on the other side of the dunes. Gerry left us the Hummer keys and quickly disappeared onto Great Island. Dan and I had a great time exploring this little traveled beach and found a couple of bouys to start our collection. One was fully intact blue and yellow, the other small green and white. We made our way back down the beach parralle to the way we'd come and eventually made our way back to the Hummer. I had the presence of mind when packing to include Dan's bathing suit, and I wore mine, so we changed then headed back down to the marsh. Dan and I played in the water a while and observed the fiddler crabs, and small fish swimming around. Elias called and we chatted for a bit. Unfortunately I didn't charge my phone before heading to Wellfleet and mid converstation my phone died. It'd probably been over 2 hours since we'd last seen Gerry, and with no phone I was mildly concerned. I had the Hummer keys however and knew that my fears were unfounded. It's amazing how much carrying a live cell phone adds to your sense of security. Amazingly enough, Gerry appeared only minutes later, and we started our trip home. Elias had armed with enough ammunition to keep our ride home intereting. Gerry and Elias go to great lengths to annoy one another, and Elias thinks it's hysterical when he gets someone else to do his dirty work. Gerry never falls for it, and Elias and I are always disappointed not to get more of a reaction out of him.

Dan and I arrived home a little after 4pm. The Leone's were in the grove so I went and sat. Dan immediately ran off to play with his friends. We said goodbye to Gerry, and then hung out chatting in the grove for a while. As 6pm approached, Mike Leone went home. Laurie and I decided that since low tide was at 6:30 that we'd take the kids down to the tide pool to poke around for a while then get dinner at Seafood Sams. We hadn't really dressed for the tide pools, but it was nice to be by the ocean anyway. Em and Dan did a little exploring before we all got hungry and decided it was time for dinner. Seafood Sams was packed. So we decided we'd call in our order for takeout. One problem, my phone was dead, Emily's went dead just as we were dialing, and Laurie didn't bring hers. So we started looking for pay phones, giggling at how stupid this was all getting. After trying 2 broken pay phones we decided to give up and just stand in line. It moved quickly, and by 8pm we were sitting at the canal enjoying our meals. It was a great day on Cape Cod, nearly perfect in fact.

August 11, 2008 Mom's 60th Birthday party

Saturday was fairly uneventful. I woke up a little after 7am, quickly drank my garden patch and took my vitamins then hustled Marley out the door for a run. While I was out I noticed a peculiar rattling sound while passing in front of the field next to Cape Cod Pediatrics on Rt 130 and wondered if it was a lyricen chorus. Gerry says we have them in Falmouth so it wouldn't be very surprising to find them in Forestdale. I made a note to check my sound files later and decided it was indeed lyricen that I was hearing. Made our way home in time to drive Emily to work. Mike, Dan and I then set out to turn in cans and bottles down at the local package store and then headed home for lunch and a nap. I had about an hour at the beach before it was time to take a shower and dress before picking up Em at work at 4pm and then heading to work myself at 5pm. I walked into a different store on Saturday night and was thrilled that what I found on Friday wasn't the norm. JJ was there along with the Asst. Manager who was on till 8pm and did all the sweeping and mopping, and another girl who was on till 6pm. Much, much better. The night went along pretty uneventfully, and in slow motion compared to the night before. JJ and I left at 12:20 or so, and I arrived home to find Mike still awake and ready to hear about might.

Sunday morning we all slept in since nobody had to be up this morning! I was the first up however and decided I'd go for a walk. My walk turned into a run at the normal running spot and I was thrilled that even with work I managed to squeeze in three days running again this week. Came home to clean out the puppy cage and Dan noticed that Abigail's eyes were open! The pups are two weeks today and are really starting to move around, even walking at times. Let the games begin! Tank is still the largest by far, and even though Abigail was the last one born and slow to start she's ahead of the others developmentally.

Mike, Em, Dan and I piled in the car at 1pm and headed for Adam and Kristin's house for Mom's 60th Birthday party. Em drove the entire way, including over the Bourne Bridge. She was very nervous but quickly got the hang of highway driving and on several occasions had to be reminded that the speed limit was only 65. Dan quickly joined Alyssa, Megan, Taylor and Julia in the pool as soon as we arrived. Em went town to check out the chickens, who are really pretty neat! Mom arrived and the party started. Lots of food, veggie platter and casserole, chips, hot dogs and hamburgers, nacho dip, and king crab legs (thanks Ed) At one point Adam brought out a bottle of tequila and some Dixie cups and asked who wanted to do shots. The picture above shows the participants including the birthday girl. The party ended with Zachary taking an impromptu dip in the pool after picking on his old aunt all day. Em drove us home, and we arrived just after 7pm to a house full of miniature barking. The puppies learn so quickly! Here is a youtube video of the pups!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6nq0IlAwB0

August 8, 2008 I'm hired...and enrolled!

Wednesday was wet and quiet. We took Em to work then went to D & D to apply for a job. I was told to return on Thursday to talk to the manager. Will do. Dan and I came home and declared it movie day. We ate lunch then went up to the loft, popped in Jumanji. Dan thought it was great, action packed, and a little scary. Right up his alley, since he's a big boy now. Then we came down, made some popcorn and watched Flipper. Dan loves the ocean, and the animals in it, but he wasn't all that interested in watching Flipper, I don't know if he was all movied out, or if he just didn't like it.

Thursday started off the same way, Em to work, Dan and I to Dunkin to talk to the manager. I was hired in 2 minutes and asked to return for my first 5-midnight shift on Friday. Very excitig!

Today started off with a 3.5 mile run with Marley, I'm thrilled to have my running partner back! Did my ab workout when I got home, hung two loads of laundry on the line, showered and then took Dan, Em and Sarah to Hyannis. I dropped Em, Sarah and Dan off at TJ Maxx and went to Trader Joe's to do some shopping. On my way back, my cell rang. It was 4C's saying that I was accepted as a student, and that I should make an appointment for my assessment testing, which I then scheduled for next Friday August 15th at 8:30am. I'm very excited and Mike seems pleased as well, he's calling me his "coed". So tonight's my first night of work, looking forward to it,I hope it's going to be easy since I have so much experience and I also hope I can keep my eyes open until Midnight. With any luck, I'll come home happy but tired, fall into bed for 6 hours or so, then awaken refreshed and ready for a run.

I also talked to Gerry today. He asked if I would be interested in joining him in a cicada killer expedition in Wellfleet that I promptly accepted. Wellfleet in the summer on a weekend can be pretty frustrating, maybe I can talk him into a weekday!

August 3, 2008 Dan can swim !!

I started this morning with another run. 3.5 miles in 50 minutes...I thought more running for more days would make my time faster, seems just the opposite...might need a day or two to let the muscles heal. Came home and did my ab workout, then loaded the truck with 5 weeks worth of trash and recyclables. We think we're beating the system buying 10 dump passes at $5 each over buying a dump sticker for $75 for the year. If we can go 5 weeks between dump runs it'll work! So far so good!
Mike and I dropped Em and Dan off at Percy's to wait in line for a seat for breakfast while Mike and I got rid of trash, and picked up a lawnmower (which Mike had running within 5 minutes of being home) and a bird cage that I think I can convert into a toad terrarium. Love shopping at the dump!

The kids were already seated when we arrived. Dan had Belgium waffles, Em scrambled eggs, a bagel and hash browns, and Mike Eggs Benedict with mushrooms. Percy's has a pretty amazing menu. I had an order of pan fried catfish and a small bowl of fresh fruit. Em asked if we could make a stop at Mashpee Commons for a new book that was just released named Breaking Dawn, and to see if she could find a bathing suit at Suit's you. Dan and Mike went in search of the book, while I helped Em with a bathing suit. She found a suit she liked and we headed home. Dan and I changed into our bathing suits and Em settled in to read.

It was a beautiful hot day and Dan and I went right into the water. Dan started swimming, and I wondered if he could make it to the raft, and asked him if he wanted to try. He swam the entire way, mostly underwater. He jumped off the raft and diving board and swam back to the beach, with minimal help from me. It was a big day for him and we celebrated with a big dipper when the ice cream man came.

The night ended quietly after having dinner with the Leone's. The puppies are a week old tonight and doing very well. We just determined that we have 5 girls and 2 boys. I don't know where we went askew but clearly somewhere. They are very cute and wag their tails now when they're getting ready to nurse.

August 2, 2008 Blueberry Festival Green Briar

So much for 45 minute run, today it was 3.5 miles in 49 minutes. I decided I'd try my new sneakers out but something wasn't right and I had a pull in my back about half way through. I don't know if I was overcompensating for something or if they just need to be broken in more. I think I'll wear them on short trips for a while before wearing them for that length of time any time soon.
I got back from my run, did an ab workout, then took Em to work for 9am. Dan and I went to visit Dad at Green Briar where he and a few other wood turners were doing a demonstration at the Blueberry festival. The guys were in good spirits, and everybody seemed happy to be spending their day there. Next stop for us was home to change into suits and head down to the beach. It's was hot and humid, just the way I like August to be. Dan swam out to the raft with his life jacket on to jump off with the big kids. I enjoyed laying in the sun in my new suit, which got lots of comments. After an hour or so a couple who we rarely see at the beach made their way down with a small boy in tow. They've had fertility problems for years and last I heard were looking to adopt. Turns out the little boy is 5, his name is Justin and he'll be coming to live with them at the end of the month, after 6 months they will adopt him. He was sweet as could be, smart and precocious and fit in with Tiger, Dan and Bradley like he'd always been there. It'll be nice to have another boy in the neighborhood! At 4:15 Dan and I packed up and went to pick up Em at work. Dan fell asleep in the van on the way there, slept through dinner and finally woke at 7:30pm. Time enough to watch some TV and have something to eat before Mom and Dad changed him up and sent him to bed. Sorry kid but we're pooped!

August 1, 2008 Running, Kaaa, and shopping

I had spoken to Suzanne across the street about my route for running, and invited her to join me this morning since Mike was home. We met at 7am, walked up to Cove Rd. Started our run there and did the loop home. Suzanne didn't think she'd be able to run much of it, I was sure she would do all of it and she did. Not only that but she waited for me on several occasions. I'm carrying much more weight then she is. We parted ways once back in the neighborhood, and I went to do an ab workout, take a quick shower and take Em to work. I arrived home in time to go to Critter capers with Mike and Dan. Ms. Mary had Kaaa (the corn snake) and Darter (the albino garter snake) out and I volunteered to return them both to their cages when she was done. I love holding Kaaa, he's about 4 feet long and incredibly strong.

We left there and came home for lunch and a nap for Dan. I cooked for men's night so all Mike would have to do was warm it up when the time came. I made a stuffed pork loin with sausage and apple stuffing, pepperoncini jasmine rice, with parmesan cheese, black olives, and garlic, applesauce, and a cheese and veggie platter.
I then treated myself to a quiet hour on the beach. At 3pm I made my way up to the house, changed and headed out to get Em at work. Em wanted to shop for bathing suits after work, and I told her that was fine, so we went further East from Mahoney's to TJ Maxx, then to Walmart. Emily got a beach cover up, a black plaid with hot pink lined coat, and a pair of manly man waterproof workboots. I bought a new bathing suit, a white tankini size 12, a few sports bras, a new pair of sneakers and garbage bags....the only thing I really needed! We stopped at the new fish market at the Mashpee common rotary and picked up some salmon and mussels. We got home at about 7pm, and men's night was in full swing. I was told the food was good, I enjoyed the salmon and mussels, raw carrots, and some olives and pepperoncinis. Suzanne came over and joined us for a post meal cocktail. I really enjoy having her around. She mentioned running again this morning,and doing it in 45 minutes tomorrow instead of todays 47 minutes. It's nice having another vegetarian around, especially one who'll push me! I hope two days in a row doesn't kill me!