July 3, 2008

Things here have been stressful. I've had a little growing to do over last few days. I took a good hard look at my life, and where it was going. It's very easy to fall into complacency. I've had over 50lbs to lose for more then 7 years. I've dieted on and off but always end up giving up, because what's the point. We like to eat, it's just what we do. I've also found especially in the last couple of years that I'm drinking much more frequently. I decided about a year ago that I would only drink red wine, at least it's heart healthy, but I was drinking it just about every night. Not so healthy. I exercise off and on, I like to run, but it's very difficult to squeeze in when you have a 4 year old, and very easy to put off. All these things combined made for a fat, hung over, lazy and otherwise unmotivated woman on a pretty regular basis. I have no body to blame but myself. My life is what I make it. Now I strive to do what it takes to be happy with myself. My biggest fear is that I will outgrow my life as it is now. Mike is very happy with the life we live, enjoys all his habits and I'm not sure what he'll think of this woman that needs to transform for her own sanity. I presume time will tell.
Strangely, I have eaten no meat, or dairy in nearly 3 days. I'm not sure why except that all of a sudden the thought makes me nauseous. I feel surprisingly good on my fruit and vegetable only diet. A cleansing of sorts. I've stopped drinking, it's been two days now, taking my vitamins, going to be early, getting up early, and even this morning went for a run. It's a good start, just need to keep it up otherwise I'm likely fall back into my life of sloth. I'm great with habits, I just need to make these new life changes habit. Good thing I evolve quickly!